What Do You Say After You Say 'Hello'?
It’s Halloween party time and the end of the year holidays are just around the corner. You're invited to a few parties and you know you'll have to introduce yourself to strangers. What do you say after you say, "Hello, my name is..."? Do you even say "My name is..." or do you just stop at "Hello"? Or like many of us, do you wait for the other guy to say, "Hello, my name is..." and hope he'll just keep on talking while you think of something clever to say?
You probably have between 30 and 60 seconds to make an impression. That’s long enough to say the important things you want someone to know about you, but not so long that they'll be rolling their eyes wondering when you're going to stop talking about yourself. Some people take their cue from the one they're talking to. If she's quiet, they keep right on leading the "Hello, I'm..." conversation. If she looks like she wants to put a word in edgewise, they stop and let her.
For many of us, the hardest part is being the one who speaks first. It's much easier to respond to someone who comes up to us. It's more intimidating to have to choose a particular person out of the crowd.
This is where we could all take a lesson from politicians. They have mastered the art of walking up to a stranger, sticking a hand out to shake, and saying with a big, warm smile, "Hi, I'm (name), I'm running for (office) and I hope you'll vote for me." They make it look so easy to walk up and introduce yourself to a stranger. Well, surprise, surprise! It is easy, if you've planned ahead and know exactly what you want to say.
Remember: every time you speak, you have the opportunity to influence and inspire. Being influential and inspirational makes you a very sexy speaker. There's never a better moment to practice than at a holiday party.
Ask yourself the two big questions:
What is my goal in meeting these new people?
What do they want that I can offer?
In other words, what's in it for me and what's in it for them? WIIFM and WIIFT are two acronyms that apply to almost any occasion where you need or want to influence and inspire new people.
If your goal is to get new business, offer them an example of a benefit you can provide. If you're a member of a large profession, i.e. accounting, law, insurance, real estate, etc., what is unique about the way you do it that will pique your listeners' interest? Certain universal benefits appeal to everyone, i.e., the measurable results of working with you, or something you can provide that no one else can. In those first 10 seconds or so, you'll grab their attention by saying what makes you special. There'll be plenty of time later to say, "I'm an accountant."
If your goal is to build a social relationship, what do you have in common? You've both chosen to be at this party, that’s a start. You might know some of the same people, or you can use the reason for the party as a springboard to find other tastes you have in common.
In my brief Intros, I don't start out with, "Hi, I'm a speaker's coach." That just makes folks' eyes glaze over and they start looking around for someone else to talk to. But when I say, "I'm the Speaking Is Sexy Coach," their eyes light up, they want to know more, and we’re off to the races.
In your 30 or 60 seconds, offer your listener three important benefits you provide and the three special ways you provide them. That's all you have time for, and it's enough for them to decide if you're someone they'd like to know better. Memorize these if you need to, but definitely know them well enough to say them in your sleep.
You never know who might be listening!