You're getting ready to write a speech for an important occasion. Maybe it's a presentation for your company. Perhaps it's the toast at a wedding, a bon voyage send-off to someone who's retiring, or a memorial speech for someone you loved. When you sit down to write the speech, you stare at the white page while a million jumbled thoughts run through your head. Or worse, you can't think of a thing to say. You have a bunch of vague feelings about how you'd like your speech to sound, but you're totally confused when you try to find the words to begin.

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       How many times have you been to a meeting or event where the M.C., quite possibly a very bright, capable person and an excellent speaker, has used humor to outline the program for the evening, sounded totally experienced and professional in front of the room and then, to get the ball rolling, said, "So, without further ado, please welcome..." and gave the next speaker's name?

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       What is it that makes most people afraid to give a speech? Interestingly enough, it's not the actual fear  of speaking. It's rather who is listening. Or more specifically, what is the audience thinking about while they're listening?
When I ask what their number one fear is, most people will say, "Being judged."
       "In a good way or a bad way?" I ask.
       "Is there a good way?" they reply. 
       Why do most folks expect that when they give a speech, the audience is looking for ways to criticize them and find them wanting? 
       "How do you know that's what they're doing?" I ask.

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Here's a conundrum I get asked about often.  People say to me, "I used to be a confident speaker.  Talking to a group of people was no problem for a long time.  But recently, I don't know why, when I think about making a speech, or sometimes right in the middle when my talk has been going fine, suddenly I get butterflies, my head starts to spin, I worry that I'm going to make a mistake or forget something important, and, boom, there goes my confidence.  Why does that happen?  And what can I do about it?" 

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       Why is it that when some folks are asked to say something at a special occasion, their first question is, "Do I have to write a speech?" This is accompanied by squinching up their eyes, raising their eyebrows in dismay, and maybe wrinkling their nose as if at a malodorous smell. The question itself is often asked in a querulous tone, the underlying meaning of which is "Please tell me I don't have to write a speech. Can't I just wing it?"
      Why is 'winging it' never a good idea? And what's the big deal about writing a speech?

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The other day I needed to ask for telephone help to access an account I hadn't used in awhile. I'd forgotten the entry sequence and just wanted a quick, two sentence reminder: "First you do this, then you do that. That's all there is to it." Unfortunately, that's not what I got. 

        For close to 15 agonizing minutes I sat there biting my nails and listening to the person on the other end of the phone repeat the same information at least twice even though I got it the first time. That was only the beginning. 

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